This post is long overdue. I can’t believe so much time has passed since I last posted on the blog. With my pregnancy wrapping up and baby being born this month, I was a little tired and overwhelmed. After baby was born I struggled with a cold the first week she was home and the second week I have nearly been on bed rest because of the back pain I have had. I’ve finally felt some relief today after visiting a chiropractor and this is the first time I have felt up to sitting down and writing. Thanks for being patient while I took a little hiatus, I’m excited to start writing and sharing more regularly and am looking forward to getting to know you all in this little community you’ve helped create.

Before I get started, I want to share with you a little about our transition from one to two. Going from one child to two, surprisingly, was easier than my husband and I would have ever imagined. I mean, I did personally struggle with doubts about how I would be able to give baby number two the same time and attention I had given my daughter. Of course, this all got better over time, it’s funny some of the irrational fears we have before we bring life into this world. Once my son was born, I never even thought about this and I naturally settled into the groove of being a Mommy of two.

Alrighty, now to get into our transition to three. We’re still pretty new at this, baby Ofa is only starting her third week of life, haha. That being said, let’s be really transparent here, three kids is a freakin’ CIRCUS. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change this circus for anything. Even though our house is a hot mess all the time. We’ve even had loving family come help us clean and take the kids off our hands every now and then and the house is still a hot mess.

I’m thinking part of the chaos is due to the kids age gap, they’re 4 and 2 years apart. I’ve got a 6 year old who wants to help with everything to do with the baby, but doesn’t have the same attitude when it comes to homework or chores. She’s very emotional when things don’t go her way, and she’s pretty sassy when she doesn’t want to do something… she’s going to be FUN as a teenager, I can already tell, haha! And the 2 year old, is my momma’s boy, he doesn’t quite acknowledge his new baby sister yet, or accept that he’s no longer the baby in the family. He also loves to push his older sister’s every button when she’s home, punishment for leaving him all day while she’s in school, haha. And then baby Ofa, even though she’s the easiest, most calm and least demanding, she does depend on me for her every need.

To say my sick and then crippled self has been pulled in a million different directions at any given time is an understatement. I often end up calling my husband at work, like a chicken with my head cut off, thinking to myself, “WTH is going on?” because we are officially outnumbered and the noise level in our house is equivalent to being at a professional football game with an ear infection. The older kids are either always fighting or always crying, I feel like the only moment they’re all happy is when they’re sleeping. Obviously there are a lot of reasons for this, new baby, Dad’s promotion and change of schedule and the sibling rivalry that’s going on. It’s pretty much chaos all the time over here.

All this being said. I love my chaotic family. Yes, it is loud and I’ll be the first to admit that the days can be beyond frustrating. Especially the days when Dad works nights, and has school the next day. I get tired of breaking up fights over toys and food, and what TV show to watch, whose fault it is and more! But this is the dream, I have the family I always wanted and more, this is what I dreamed for when I was little. Raising kids is not easy. But the time you get with them when they’re this little is so short. I have an overwhelming feeling of happiness at the end of each day, that I have been blessed with these three beautiful souls. Yes, even when they’ve driven me crazy all day.

I’m still learning the balancing act that is three children. I get very stressed very easily, which is partly hormones, but mostly personality. I’m still figuring out how to handle this stuff better. There are often days when I have nothing left to give, there’s toys and baby gear all over the living room, laundry all over the bedroom and still in the washer, these are the days I want silence for 20 minutes. Thankfully I have an amazing husband who gets it, and he lets me slip away to the room with baby to feed her and watch my 20 minutes of Grey’s Anatomy, uninterrupted! I feel so blessed to have a husband like him, he never makes me feel guilty about needing those 20 minutes, even when I know he’s had an equally long and hard day himself. I know not everyone has this, so it’s not something I take for granted, and I tip my hat off to you single moms, military wives, etc. You mommies are superheroes.

I also don’t take for granted the fact that I have three beautiful children running around and noisying up our little home. As hard as it may be sometimes, I look at them and think about the sacrifices my husband and I made and the hard work my body went through to bring them into this world. I feel so blessed to be their Mommy. I know I say it all the time, but this is everything I ever dreamed and hoped for in my life. Even though Eli won’t acknowledge baby sister now, I have no doubt in my mind that these three will be the best of friends, and that makes my heart so happy. I try to remember all the blessings at the end of each day, especially the hard ones, when everyone is driving me crazy, and it really helps put things into perspective. I would rather have all this then none of it at all.

If you were wondering what three kids is really like… it’s a chaotic and hot mess! But really amazing, beautiful and overwhelmingly fulfilling life. And one that I wouldn’t trade for anything!

Photography by Kassie Feinga.